Super Daters and Birds of a Feather

From childhood we have chosen our best friends using common interests and similar values as criteria. Nowhere is this more important than in choosing a mate. If you are only interested in the company of the opposite sex for short conversations and fun in bed, you probably choose your dates based on looks, or maybe other superficial things like what kind of a car your date drives.

However, if you are dating, with the hope of finding someone you can spend a happy life with, the birds have all the answers. SUPER DATERS learn very early in the dating experience that certain characteristics are necessary for a sound permanent relationship. There are three levels of traits or behaviors.

The first one is choosing a date for superficial reasons, Attractiveness, a showy dresser, a prestigious sounding job, a big spender, an expensive car. If you choose your dates by this criteria, just don't marry them. The second level is composed of behaviors you don't like, but can live with, such as spending too much time on the phone, always being late for dates, forgetting to pay the bills.

These are annoying, but not necessarily marriage breakers. Remember, these are behaviors and not traits. They come and go and can be changed. They are not part of the basic personality, You probably have some behaviors that your dates wish you would change, so don't give up a good date on small things. There is always compromise. The third level is what Super Daters are most particular about, and you should be too.

These are part of the basic personality. They include honesty, trust, loyalty and many others. If you are opposites on these basic values, be prepared for a rocky marriage and a visit to the Divorce Court. If you are looking for a permanent relationship, look for someone with the same ethical and moral traits, add to that someone on the same level of intelligence and a like interest in sports, movies, dancing, or any other pastime where you can spend time together, and you have the basis for a lasting, rewarding, satisfying marriage. And where do the birds come in? Oh, they instinctively know this and that is why they flock together.

Choose wisely Copyright 2006 Robert T. Lewis.

Robert T. Lewis, Ph.D.
Psychologist and Author of:
How Any Male Can Be A Super Dater
www.self-helpebooks.com