Extramarital Affairs and Attitudes Toward Infidelity

Cheating spouses continue to provoke wrath in all countries and cultures, even among cultures that disapprove of the concept of divorce. In literature, movies, and television, extramarital affairs are usually not approved either unless the husband or wife is a negative character. A genuinely passionate affair is bestowed with an ethereal quality and is broken up if possible. Yes, the dreamy eyed 'Casablanca' phenomenon is still very much prevalent.

The Statistics A 2004 survey revealed that extramarital affairs remain the topmost reason for divorce at 27%. This is followed by family strains at 18%, and physical or mental abuse at a terrifying 17%. 13% fall apart when faced by midlife crisis. None of the other reasons are more than 6%. The traditional belief is that men are more easily led astray than women. In 2003, this seemed an unfair accusation as men had only a lead of 10% (at 50%) over women who were the accused party in 45% of the cases.

But it was probably an exceptional year, because in 2004, 75% of divorces filed on the grounds of extramarital affairs were against men, while only 25% of the cases were filed by cuckolded husbands. The same survey revealed that in the case of 'family tensions'-related divorces, 78% stemmed from the women's family, while 22% were from men's side - the old 'nagging mother-in-law' syndrome, or is it that men just do not value family enough? Sexual problems and financial issues constitute the distinct minority -roughly 1% of the divorcing population cites these reasons. Attitudes toward Infidelity The British Social Attitudes Survey revealed that 60% of the population still firmly believes that infidelity in marriage is strictly immoral. In a survey that spanned the EU, couples were asked what they mean by marriage. The most common answer was 'committing yourself to being faithful to your partner.

" It has been established that 40% of men had thought they would never have a second sexual relation while getting married. In general, extramarital affairs are both common and taboo. For the UK at least, divorce is relatively rare in the first five years of marriage.

Since so many people in their late thirties and early forties are having affairs, this perhaps tells a thing or two about the reasons as well. This is when a couple may begin to fall out of love. This might also be a possible explanation of the strong contradictions present in the country ? why the UK is so intolerant towards extramarital affairs ? and why it is so rife. Ground for Divorce? There is no doubt that a cheating partner really hurts.

Law, religion, society, and morality- all support divorce on the grounds of adultery. But before taking the plunge, one may stop briefly to check up a few things: 1. Why: What are the reasons behind the act? Did your spouse suddenly and violently fall in love with someone else, or is it something else? Maybe something was wrong with your marriage; you were both probably letting things slide down, and this was a relief for him or her. 2. Self analysis: This may seem an unlikely moment for it, but have a look at yourself. Are you making the effort to understand your spouse, or are you only looking for a reason to blame him or her? Have you made enough efforts lately to make the marriage work? 3.

Boredom and infatuation: It's the same old formula. Boy meets girl, get married, have children, work hard, and lose all the charm and magic that once existed. They take each other for granted. As a result, infatuation with someone is not at all an improbable thing to happen. 4.

Other crises: Sometimes, a hard working professional may have an affair as a 'reaction'. It can be an expression of frustration and freedom. Inability to communicate is the biggest problem in a marriage already on the rocks.

Too much work pressure, loneliness, and an impending midlife crisis. But if the hurt is too deep, there is no other option left except divorce. It depends on the seriousness of the affair - is it only a 'fling' or is it really serious? In fact, this is the cardinal question on which divorces should be based. Beyond that, it's all human judgment and instinct.

For more information on using online services to obtain a Divorce which is managed by a solicitor see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk